Most Thanksgiving tables will be loaded with turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie. And perhaps some talk about the midterm elections, the next presidential campaign and other hot-button political issues.
You may be hesitant to engage on those topics, in hopes of preserving civility among your family and friends. But rather than keeping quiet, there are ways to join the conversation and still keep things civil. Leaders of the bridging community enthusiastically shared some tips.
James Coan, co-chair of the D.C. Alliance for Braver Angels: “If people want a way to remember to have a conversation, I recommend they keep the mnemonic SVL in mind – pronounced just like ‘civil.’ Tell your stories (S), relate to the other person's values (V), and closely listen (L).” (Based on a Village Square talk.)
Pearce Godwin, founder and CEO, Listen First Project: “Listen with curiosity. Speak from your own experience. Connect with respect. ... See the person across the table, not the position. Assume good intentions and extend grace. Prioritize your relationship over your differences.”
Liz Joyner, founder and president, The Village Square: “We can ask open-hearted questions of the people we share a meal with — especially those who are most deeply different from us. Poet John O'Donohue: ‘I always think that the question is like a lantern. It illuminates new landscapes and new areas as it moves.’ And we can leave the conversation just a touch more wise for the asking.”
Debilyn Molineaux, co-publisher, The Fulcrum: “Commit to the relationship first. Political winds will frequently change but your friends and family remain a constant in our lives.”
Erik Olsen, co-founder and treasurer, Common Ground Committee: “The center of Thanksgiving is gratitude. Be grateful for friends and family who you know are good and caring people, without regard to political or cultural differences. Express your gratitude with love and tolerance.”
Christy Vines, president and CEO, Ideos Institute: “When trying to navigate divisive issues (or people), remember that one of the most powerful weapons in your arsenal is the question ‘Why?’ This tiny word can transform even the thorniest of conversations as it helps you unpack the motivation or story behind someone's opinion or perspective, instantly increasing your empathic intelligence and, perhaps surprisingly, upping your partner's critical thinking on the issue or topic. Pro tip: When executed from a place of real curiosity, this practice also tends to de-escalate emotional or tension-filled conversations.”
Jillian Youngblood, executive director, Civic Genius: "I think it's fine not to have a perfectly peaceful Thanksgiving! I love a raucous Thanksgiving! What you don't want is interactions that put up walls and destroy relationships. Try this: Commit yourself in advance to engaging with the relative who drives you craziest. Sit down ready to draw them out and really understand what they're telling you – even if it's nuts. Engage with good will. Then – and this is the harder part – continue doing that for the next few months. Stay in touch. Build enough trust that they'll hear you out in the same way. Let your defenses down enough that you can offer each other critique without it exploding. Then see what happens next year."
U.S. President Donald Trump speaks during a“ Steel Across America” event ahead of the 25th anniversary of the Sept. 11th attacks on the Ellipse near the White House on Sept. 8, 2026 in Washington, D.C. President Trump welcomed 9/ 11 first responders to the Tunnel to Towers Foundation’ s“ Steel Across America” event featuring a 16,900- pound, 21- foot steel beam recovered.
For Trump, even 9/11 is an opportunity
There was a reason organizers of the 9/11 ceremony in Manhattan told President Trump he could not speak at this year’s memorial service.
A good one, it turns out.
Because in a speech he gave on Tuesday in Washington, he did exactly what they were presumably worried about — he made it about himself.
According to The New York Times, Trump had wanted a speaking role at the service, but the National Sept. 11 Memorial and Museum, which oversees the site, said no, as they’ve maintained for the past decade-plus that the venue and event should be nonpartisan.
Trump has long used awful tragedies to either puff himself up, trash political opponents, or sell lies to the American people.
He blamed a deadly plane crash at Washington National Airport last year on diversity, equity and inclusion policies. He blamed Puerto Ricans for the devastation they endured after Hurricane Maria in 2017. He reportedly considered withholding disaster relief after the California wildfires based on the way affected regions voted. In an interview on Fox News meant to commemorate the 75th anniversary of D-Day in Normandy, he used the occasion to slam former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi…with graves of the dead behind him.
And now, as we approach the 25th anniversary of what many New Yorkers consider the darkest day in modern history, Trump has done it again.
He told a rambling, nonsensical story — one he’s told before — about going to Ground Zero just after terrorists flew two commercial jets into the twin towers. In the story, which no one has been able to verify, despite multiple attempts, he says firefighters had to carry him out of One Liberty Plaza, also known as the U.S. Steel Building, because they thought it was about to collapse.
As CNN fact checker Daniel Dale notes, there’s no evidence Trump went into this building, especially at a time when NYPD and NYFD had locked down the area. There’s no evidence that building was collapsing — in fact, it was deemed structurally sound and reopened within two months of the attacks. There’s no evidence he was carried out of it by firefighters.
But the lie isn’t even the worst part. Pretend it was all true — why would the leader of our country, and a New Yorker, decide to make that tragic day about himself?
Because that’s who Donald Trump is. He’s a malignant narcissist.
He’s also, incidentally, a terrible and ineffectual president, who’s made ill-fated decisions that he has to keep defending, and there’s nothing he won’t do to make himself look and feel better.
Within the first two minutes of his speech, he was cravenly using 9/11 to justify and promote his dumb war in Iran — two events separated by 25 years and 6,000 miles.
“And I will tell you, we’re right now fighting because we have a certain nation that wanted a nuclear weapon, they were very close to getting it, and now they have no chance at getting it. They will never have a nuclear weapon. Iran will not have a nuclear weapon. And they’ve been punished greatly. As you know, we’ve really taken it to them.”
As a New Yorker who lived through 9/11, still one of the worst days of my life, I’m utterly sickened by Trump’s crass, political, and self-promotional framing of that awful day.
And I’m relieved he won’t be given a platform to do it again on Friday’s anniversary in lower Manhattan.
Because for Trump, everything is his for the taking, and absolutely nothing is sacred.
S.E. Cupp is the host of "S.E. Cupp Unfiltered" on CNN.