Skip to content
Search

Latest Stories

Top Stories

A cure for chronic niceness

Joe Weston

Weston is the founder of the Weston Network, which provides trainings, consulting and coaching.

For those who have been following my “ Ask Joe ” articles for the last two and a half years, you have seen me write often about a pattern that many of us fall into — one I call “chronic niceness.” The purpose of these articles was to offer concrete ways to put our highest ideals of bridge-building and softening the rigidity of stagnant polarization into action in our moment-to-moment reality.

Whether at work, with family members or with advocacy work, the questions were often focused on how to confront a bully without becoming a bully. In our current national and global climate, where lack of civility is not only the norm but seems to be rewarded, how can we still be effective, be heard and have lasting impact without losing connection to our highest values and principles?


This is the theme of my recent TEDx Talk, “A Cure for Chronic Niceness.”

A Cure for Chronic Niceness | Joe Weston | TEDxYoungstownyoutu.be

I am so grateful that I had the opportunity through that forum to share my vision of how to overcome the challenges of our time and activate our voices in a more empowered way. My hope is this message reaches many to offer some hope, inspiration and courage in a time that seems so despairing.

Yes, the world does seem to be out of control. And I do believe it is possible to break the gridlock of stagnant polarization, overcome arguments and fights, get back to hope, and initiate the emergence of new solutions to our current problems. How we talk matters. And while many communication models offer powerful ways to deal with or overcome aggression, I assert that we won’t see any lasting change until we also address a much-forgotten part of the equation — our deep-seated attachment to chronic niceness.

In this talk, I explain what chronic niceness is and how it causes harm, and then offer an alternative to chronic niceness — fierce civility. I provide simple yet effective tools and strategies to overcome this chronic pattern in order to empower more of us to courageously create a hopeful vision for a better future free from both chronic niceness and aggressive habits.

I hope you take a moment to watch my TED Talk. I’d love to hear what you think. What’s your relationship with chronic niceness? Get in touch if you have any questions

You can learn more about these tools, skills and strategies at my site.

Please share this talk with those you know who get stuck in patterns of chronic niceness. My hope is that more of us step up and become what I call “catalysts of fierce hope.” If there was ever a time when it was needed, it’s now!

With fierce gratitude.

Read More

It’s Time for a New American Agenda
blue and white star print textile

It’s Time for a New American Agenda

America is once again gripped by multiple political and societal crises. Most days in our local communities and in our wider public lives it can feel like we’re living through dizzying confusion, chaos, and division.

Acrimonious partisanship only deepens in Washington, DC, and our state capitols. Renewed calls for a third party are heating up, while Democrats plan to spend tens of millions of dollars to understand voters better, as if they had just discovered some new civilization. It’s like we’re collectively stuck in the Tower of Babel, unable to understand one another and what we share in common.

Keep ReadingShow less
Hope, Champagne, and the Courage To Celebrate in Turbulent Times
Getty Images, wilatlak villette

Hope, Champagne, and the Courage To Celebrate in Turbulent Times

“There is hope, a way forward, however unpredictable. We can dance around the petulant games of powerful men. But, as ever, we are at the mercy of the seasons.” - Widow Clicquot

“Widow Clicquot,” adapted from a book by Tilar J. Mazzeo, is the story of Barbe Nicole Clicquot Ponsardin, widowed in 1805 at the age of 27, who inherited her husband’s debt-ridden vineyards. Against all odds, particularly as women had virtually no economic “value” or power in the early 19th century, she, and her vineyards, eventually prospered. It was she who created the Veuve Clicquot champagne dynasty.

Keep ReadingShow less
Defining The Democracy Movement: Ben Bain
- YouTube

Defining The Democracy Movement: Ben Bain

The Fulcrum presents The Path Forward: Defining the Democracy Reform Movement. Scott Warren's interview series engages diverse thought leaders to elevate the conversation about building a thriving and healthy democratic republic that fulfills its potential as a national social and political game-changer. This initiative is the start of focused collaborations and dialogue led by The Bridge Alliance and The Fulcrum teams to help the movement find a path forward.

The latest interview in this series features Ben Bain, Director of State Capacity at the Niskanen Institute and Volunteer Coordinator in Washington, DC, for More Perfect Union, a bridging organization—where we originally met.

Keep ReadingShow less

Angelica Salas’s Journey From Undocumented Immigrant to Community Leader at CHIRLA

Angelica Salas has long been a leading advocate for immigrant rights in Los Angeles. Since becoming Executive Director of the Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles (CHIRLA) in 1999, she has transformed the organization into one of the most powerful immigrant-led advocacy groups in the country. Her leadership has redefined what grassroots organizing can look like, mobilizing communities around issues ranging from Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) to voter outreach and legal services.

Salas’s journey into activism is deeply personal. Born in Durango, Mexico, she arrived in the United States at the age of five, undocumented, to reunite with her parents who had migrated for work. Growing up in Pasadena, California, her family lived in the shadows of deportation until they were able to legalize their status. In 2008, Salas became a U.S. citizen, adding a powerful chapter to a story she shares with many of the people CHIRLA serves. Her own experience navigating the U.S. immigration system informs her commitment to building dignity, not dependency, in the immigrant rights movement. After graduating from Occidental College with a degree in history and sociology, Salas joined CHIRLA in 1995 and became its executive director just four years later.

Keep ReadingShow less