As a professional dancer, I’ve always been grounded, but the earth is rumbling and I amuncharacteristically unsteady. I’m not alone in this feeling. Shifting cultural values are rattlingour sense of moral integrity. Unfathomable words, (calling a congresswoman and a people“garbage”), acts of cruelty (killing survivors stranded in the ocean), or horrific insensitivities (calling Rob Reiner, the celebrated director, “a deranged person” after his murder) are playfully spun as somehow normal. Our inner GPS systems are not able to locate center.
I’m climbing trees these days in order to get up off the earth. At the age of 74, it is frankly exhilarating – I am more cognizant of the danger, so I must be attentive. All my senses are buzzing as I negotiate the craggy shape of a giant, catalpa tree. I settle into a large, gently curving limb, which hugs my body like a nest. My cries enter the vastness of the universe, and the birds sing me to sleep. I’m trying to locate myself again. Dreams are vivid up in the air.
A bald eagle, LaLu, comes to me in a vivid, technicolor daydream. Her crystal tears fall on my body like ice drops. Her caws pierce my heart. She calls out:
“I don’t want to be the symbol of freedom in America anymore! I don’t want to be on coins, bedspreads, stamps, helmets, flags, public buildings, and beach towels. I especially don’t want to be on an official presidential podium with my wings weighted down in gilded, gaudy gold in a gilded, gaudy, golden room with a gilded, gaudy, goldish/orange feathered character.”
She turns her proud, white head toward me.
“Please tell Americans I can’t be their symbol of freedom anymore.”
LaLu is in a rant. I listen carefully.
“Since 1792, when the U.S. Congress approved my appearance on the Great Seal of the United States, I have tried, to the best of my ability, to represent the values placed on me – independence, strength, and freedom. Unfortunately, eagles, like humans, can slip into their darker nature. Benjamin Franklin had it right when he said, ‘Bald Eagle...is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly…[he] is too lazy to fish for himself.’
I try my best not to steal from other birds. I work at it daily. I was honored when President Biden finally made me the national bird in December 2024 (most humans don’t know I was unofficial up until then.) He, too, fell into some bad habits, but he was a good man who struggled like I do to keep on the right path.”
LaLu flies down and begins scratching the earth like a chicken.
“The founding fathers chose me because I was indigenous to North America. I am ashamed to say, I hovered high over the Trail of Tears, as native peoples were forcefully removed from their land in the early 1800s. Now, I watch human beings being dragged away by other humans with no due process of law.”
My cousin, the black eagle, was taken over by the Nazis. She held a swastika (Sanskrit for good fortune) and an oak leaf (believed to have strong healing powers by the Druids). The Nazis twisted these symbols into hatred, and my cousin lost her soul.
LaLu begins to shake, ruffling all her feathers. I hold the limb tightly as it sways.
“My talons carry an olive branch on one side and arrows on the other. The founding fathers wanted me to keep Americans safe by always using the olive branch first, and only, when necessary, using my arrows. It’s topsy-turvy now. I wish I knew how to keep humans safe. I only know I can’t do what my cousin did.
For more than two centuries, Americans tried to exterminate me, accusing me of “…stealing livestock and even kidnapping babies.” Which is somewhat true, at least the livestock part, because I was trying not to steal from other birds. In the 1800s, there were 100,000 of us, and then the DDT almost did us in. Luckily, the federal government established protections, so in 2007, we were removed from the endangered species list, and by 2020, we were 316,700 strong. This was a rare victory, made possible by the government of and by the people who used the olive branch to save the lives of my children’s, children’s children.”
LaLu opens her seven-foot wingspan and flies up to the very top branch. Her intense yellow eyes gaze down at me, and oily teardrops splash my face.
“Please,” I plead, “Don’t leave us now, we need you!” She replies:
“I am sad to leave you. I have tried to stand by you, but America is suffering a moral decay so hideous, so all encompassing, that the only power I have left is to fly away so far, the sun will not shine on me anymore. I’m headed for the dark side of the moon. If I don’t, I will lose the one drop left of my own moral integrity.”
She draws her beak toward her heart and says:
"Way back in 1881, as the Civil War was raging, Abraham Lincoln pleaded with humans to return to '…the better angels of your nature,' and stand up for freedom, as the 'last best hope of man on earth.' I want that for you too."
I climb down from my perch and see LaLu unapologetically soaring upward toward the moon. I place my feet firmly on the ground, relieved that gravity’s pull feels familiar and comforting. Each of us will be facing a line we can’t cross to stand up for our own moral integrity and that of our country.
It is heartening to see people from every profession take a stand. Two-thirds of the DOJ lawyers did so when they were asked to defend Trump’s policies. Scientists, academics, unions, journalists, entertainers, and even some Republican politicians will suffer consequences, but they have chosen to honor American values. Most importantly, cultivating integrity is a practice for everyone, every day. If you know an immigrant in need, learn their rights, walk with them, and have your camera and your whistle ready. If you are a mom, dad, daughter, son, sister/brother, grandma/pa, join protest movements such as No Kings, or just stand on a street corner at any time with a sign of your own making. My sign says, “Freedom is not just for birds! Fight for America’s freedom…and LaLu’s!"
Jan Erkert is professor emerita and former Head of the Department of Dance at the University of Illinois. She is a Fulbright Scholar, a Public Voices Fellow with the National Op-Ed Project and Director of the University of Illinois’ Alumni OpEd Project. She is currently seeking publication of her manuscript, “Stories from my Dancing Body.”
